A Panic Attack

4:20am, I was suddenly awoken by my wife, Jocelyn’s complaint about breathlessness. I was hoping that it would go away, but it did not. It carried on for a few more minutes and I realised that we had a crisis on our hands. I quickly got out of bed, prayed for her, coached her to breathe slowly, massaged her back to relax her, and applied medicated oil but all these didn’t help. In fact, the symptoms became worse, her nerves were affected, she felt numbness in her limbs and body, and her thumbs became stiff and were bending toward the palm. She complained that she felt her limbs swelling.

4:50am, woke Victoria, our daughter, up to pray together. We rubbed Jocelyn’s limbs to relieve the numbness but to no avail. Fearing the worst, we woke Joshua, our son, up to assist and to get his involvement.

Jocelyn and I were scheduled to fly off to return to our missionary post in the Philippines at 11:50am. We were hoping that God would do a miracle and heal her so that we could go to the Philippines as planned. At the back of our minds, Jocelyn and I were concerned about cancelling the flight to the Philippines.

5:00am, we ran out of options and called for an ambulance to send Jocelyn to Accident & Emergency at the hospital. Also, called a close friend to intercede for us. The paramedics came and quickly identified the hyperventilation symptoms. They tried coaching her to blow out more than she breathed so that she could expel more carbon-dioxide and breathe in more oxygen. There was some relief but it was short lived. We didn’t realise she was having a panic attack.

5:30am, we were at the hospital. The doctor quickly identified that Jocelyn had a panic attack. The doctor was also careful to eliminate other causes of the symptoms. ECG and an X-ray were taken, and she was given some medicine to calm her down and she was under observation.

6:30am, there was no more symptoms of panic attack or hyperventilation. Jocelyn was resting in the observation ward. However, because of the ambulance ride and being wheeled about in the hospital for treatment on the stretcher, Jocelyn felt nauseous. The doctor had to ascertain that the nausea was indeed caused by her motion sickness and nothing else.

8:00am, Jocelyn was discharged and we were on our way home. We were determined to catch the 11:50am flight. Surprisingly, when we reached home, Jocelyn requested to lie down on the bed for a few minutes.

9:00am, we were out of the house and on our way to the airport. Still feeling the effect of the morning, Jocelyn didn’t talk much and rested most of the journey to the airport. I believe she was also feeling weak because her sleep was disrupted and she had no breakfast.

After checking in, Jocelyn only managed to eat half of a red-bean paste bun. She slept most part of the flight to the Philippines. She had a bad headache by the time she arrived in the Philippines. The road trip back to the training centre didn’t help .

6:00pm. when we reached the training centre, she told me that she had to lie flat on a bed and would have to miss dinner. I was worried how without food intake she would get better. After unloading the baggages, I saw Jocelyn asleep on the bed with a pillow case, but without bed sheets. She was very. very tired.

I couldn’t bear to see her going without food, I thought to prepare her some porridge after dinner.

Guess what?
Immediately after I have finished dinner, Jocelyn woke up, fresh as the morning glory. She had recovered, with no more headache or weariness. To me it was a miracle. We were just praying for her over dinner and immediately after dinner, she joined us at the dinner table and ate her share of the goodness of God. I don’t think it was my prayer. I have prayed all day and nothing happened. I believe it was the way God chose to show Himself great in our midst.

What have I learnt today?

I do not need to be overly concerned about missing my flight–God is more concerned for His work than I could ever be. Circumstances are not always in my hands but circumstances can never get out of God’s hand. God cares for us in Christ Jesus–As sudden as the panic attack, so sudden also was Jocelyn’s recovery. It can only be the manifestation of God.

Thank you God for your grace in today’s episode. In my helplessness, you have shown me your greatness. Great is your power and wisdom.