Written by Christian author, Pola Muzyka.
In the U.S. we have come to know February 14th as Valentine’s day. This day is a name sake day given to the name Valentino for a man and Valentina for a woman. The name means strong, worthy, and powerful.
The origins of Valentine’s day attributed to love and loving are being debated to this day. One thing is for sure. We do need a day–in fact a lifetime–of love and loving. Not just love for a spouse or sweetheart, but love for God and love for our fellow man. Love and caring never go out of style and never lose fascination even for the most brokenhearted.
A heart truly broken may seek love but will never find it outside of God. If heartache sets in and is left unresolved it can become a stronghold that may bring depression, rage, unforgiveness, hopelessness, and other demonic strongholds along with it. Trying to resolve heartache by finding another object of affection will never satisfy. Rebounds seldom work.
Oddly enough, every traumatic incident in the life of a person harboring heartache may bring temporary relief–a chance to resolve whatever caused the heartache in the first place. But this relief soon diminishes as heartache increases if the trauma of what caused the heartache was never resolved. Although love, being in love, and loving may bring a temporary relief, past heartache may rise up again at the first trigger or pushed button, causing even deeper pain.
One layer of heartache and pain on another can prevent a host from ever falling in love or being in love again. Without Godly wisdom of how to give and live a life of love and loving, there can be no complete healing.
A broken heart needs to heal before it turns into a stronghold of heartache. What can be done to heal the heartaches of our past so we can love again? How can we recognize this emotional problem before it becomes a stronghold?
1. You guessed it. Forgiveness is at the top of our list. “Nothing to forgive” or “be forgiven from” doesn’t help. Forgive now and completely. Allow others to forgive you and accept their forgiveness. There was a reason for them to feel obligated to forgive you. Find out why and repent.
Forgiveness plays an important part in freedom from many problem areas in our lives, particularly areas that cause any type of grief or anger and separate us from complete love.
Colossians 3:13 Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].
2. Be aware of your “hot buttons”. Learn from your past and listen to godly people closest to you. If you are feeling an ache inside, there’s a good chance that heartache is trying to grip you. What just happened? What were you thinking about? Give it over to God in prayer. Expect God to reveal the truth and heal your pain.
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
2b. Go to the stronghold of God. Read His Word for answers. Although you may feel your heartache is unique and justified, there is nothing new under the sun and nothing God doesn’t know about you. The answer can usually be found in the Word.
Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of, and understands) those who take refuge and trust in Him.
3. Submit to God’s will in the matter. He will strengthen you and give you peace and joy.
Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
4. If you have sinned, repent. Ask God to show you where you may have gone wrong and how you reacted to others so you won’t repeat the problem that caused or deepened heartache.
Psalm 34:17-20 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
5. Help others. Show Godly love. Somehow our problems don’t seem so large when we reach out to help others in distress.
John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
Proverbs 3:3 Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart.