Many people talk to themselves. It is not only those who are mentally challenged but people who realize that self talk is important to change the mindset regarding any situation. If you know the impact of self talk, you will listen to God talk more than self talk.
What? know you not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which you have of God, and you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:37
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Listen to natural self talk and if I were you, I would prefer to listen to God talk.
Negativizing. Filtering out positive aspects of a situation, while focusing only on negatives.
Distorted : “This job is nothing but one headache after another.”
Rational: “This job has many negative things about it, but then it has some positive ones, too. Like most things, it is a mixture of good and bad.”
Awfulizing: Turning a difficult or unsatisfactory situation into something awful, terrible, and intolerable.
Distorted: “Drivers in this town are worst this side of the Rockies. I can’t stand it!”
Rational : “Many drivers around here make bad judgments and sometimes even bad mistakes. However, like me, they are fallible human beings who sometimes make mistakes—a circumstance hardly worth getting very upset about.”
Catastrophizing. Expecting that the worst almost certainly will happen.
Distorted: “I absolutely know that if my husband goes through with his plans to fly to New York, his plane will crash.”
Rational : “I wish my husband didn’t have to fly to New York, but the chances of anything happening to him are so remote that it is hardly worth worrying about.’
Over-Generalizing. Generalizing from a single event or piece of information to all or most things.
Distorted : After a salesman’s failure to sell a product to a prospective client: ‘This again shows that I am totally inept in relating to people.”
Rational: “What can I learn from this situation to continue to improve my effectiveness as a salesman?”
Minimizing: Diminishing the value or importance of something to less than it actually is.
Distorted : Self-deprecating professor after having his article accepted for publication by a professional journal: It was accepted, but it is certainly not the quality of writing I expected to be turning out at this point in my career.”
Rational: The article may not be the greatest contribution I’ve ever made, but it is something I can be satisfied with for now.”
Blaming. Attributing responsibility for events, especially negative ones, to someone else, even when such responsibility rightfully belongs to self.
Distorted: “lf only my mother had been more loving, then I could have been happy.”
Rational : “It would have been nice if my mother had loved me more. However, I am now responsible for my own happiness or unhappiness.”
Perfectionism. Impossibly demanding standards of self, others, or both in many situations.
Distorted : “0ther drivers should obey all traffic laws and always should drive according to the standards of common courtesy I believe in.”
Rational : “It would be desirable if other drivers obeyed all traffic laws and followed standards of common courtesy. However, many don’t and won’t—a fact of life hardly worth getting very upset about.”
Musterbation. The demand that events must turn out as I want them to—otherwise, it inevitably will be very upsetting to me.
Distorted : “I must have constant approval and acceptance if life is to be worthwhile and if I am to be happy.”
Rational : “It would be nice to be approved and accepted most of the time. However, my happiness does not depend on it”.
Personalizing. Believing that others’ behaviors or feelings are entirely caused by self.
Distorted:” I know he is depressed because of what I implied in my remarks yesterday.”
Rational : “I will handle situations like yesterday better in the future. However, his depression may or may not be related to what I said. In any case, if he chooses to be depressed, that is his problem, not mine.”
Judging Human Worth. Evaluating total worth of self or others on the basis of traits or behavior.
Self-Talk: “I really muffed that situation yesterday. How terrible of me! This proves again what a rotten person I am.”
Rational : “I didn’t handle that situation yesterday very well. What can I learn from it so I can do better next time?”
Control Fallacy. The belief that happiness depends on cajoling or coercing others to do what I think they should.
Distorted : “There is no way I can enjoy my work unless I can get my employees to work as hard and effectively as I believe they should.”
Rational k: “I will continue to strive to upgrade the work of my employees. Meanwhile, I refuse to let my job satisfaction depend on them.”
Polarized Thinking. Things are black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. There is no middle ground.
Distorted : “Either I do perfectly on this test or I’m a failure.”
Rational : “I will do my best on this test—and then be satisfied with my performance this time around.”
Being Right. Being continually on trial to prove that own opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable. Therefore, going to any length to demonstrate rightness.
Distorted: “I must be certain they know I know what I’m talking about.”
Example of Rational Self-Talk: “I have no need here to prove myself, because my self-worth does not depend on what others think of me.”
Fallacy of Fairness. Feeling resentful because the world does not conform to my sense of what is fair.
Distorted : “It is just not fair that those questions were on that exam. I have every reason to be upset.”
Rational: “I don’t agree that those questions should have been on the exam. However, they were—sometimes I cannot change and need not get upset about it.”
Shoulding. Constant imposition of should’s and should have’s on self, others, or both.
Distorted : “I should have said that differently. I should never have behaved like that.”
Rational : “I would like to have handled that situation more effectively. Next time, I will do it differently.”
Magnifying. Making more of an event than it actually is.
Distorted : ‘This low grade is the worst thing that ever happened to me. It’s horrible! What a rotten person I am!”
Rational : “How unfortunate that I didn’t do well on this test. I generally blew it. Yet, it is not the end of the world. Next time, I will certainly study harder.”
Self-talk is all about me, the imperfect me, it depresses me.
God- talk is about His enablement of imperfect me and lifts my spirit.
I would rather listen to God-talk before I do anything for self-talk is often too late.