HE LIFTS US UP: FORGIVING—is Not Forgetting (Matthew 18:21-22)

FORGIVING–It is not forgetting.

One of the big mistakes that I made as a victim of abuse was not only trying to forgive, but also trying to forget. You see, when you forget something, you actually start all over. Then, you are more likely to allow something to repeat itself. You also don’t learn from your mistakes as you pretend that certain events did not happen.
Like many, in my desire to believe my abuser when he said that he would change, I would agree to give him another chance…again and again.

I naively believed that he would change. Unfortunately, in my desire to fix him and change him, I was allowing him to tear me down emotionally. I had accepted the constant verbal and emotional attacks as normal communication.

That is a problem with most victims. They have a tendency to want to fix their abusers. In the meantime, they get more and more broken. Unfortunately, we can’t fix anyone. Only God can fix someone. All that we, as victims, can do is to get away to a place where we are safe and can start healing. Then, the next most important thing that we can do is to forgive those who have hurt us. God requires us to forgive. He does not require us to forget.

Now, I can tell you that forgiving others who have hurt you is not an easy task. I can honestly tell you that for years after the abuse and infidelity, I wanted the one who had hurt me so deeply to “burn in ***”. Also, as a Christian, I struggled with forgiving him because I felt that it meant that I should stay friends with him for the children. But every time I was near him, he had a control over me and torn me down emotionally again. I had to finally break all contact with him to begin healing and truly release him to God.

Unfortunately, the wounds were so deep and the memories were so suppressed, that God had to bring many suppressed memories back to my consciousness so that I could deal with them and release the hurt that accompanied them. So you see, I know from experience that we should not forget…but we have to forgive and release it all to God so that we can heal and move on.

Matthew 18:21-22    “Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel


This entry was posted in A CLICK A BLESSING TODAY, CHRISTIAN TAGALOG BLOGS, CHRISTIAN TEENS BLOGS, HE LIFTS US UP, SHARING STRUGGLES , Shaping Spiritual Solutions! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to HE LIFTS US UP: FORGIVING—is Not Forgetting (Matthew 18:21-22)

  1. I believe that nothing happens by chance. You blogged about forgiveness the day I told my counselor about my letter to my abuser. I had moved from acceptance to forgiveness. The letter is really a figurative and literal symbol of returning the abuse back to him, leaving it with him to ponder. It’s up to him to ask for forgiveness from God. His response to my letter doesn’t matter and has no effect on my recovery or healing…that’s when you know it’s truly forgiven….I love your blog, what an inspiration….thanks!

    • secretangel says:

      Thank you for your support.I am so glad that you are healing from your situation. God heals and restores. We all just have to hang onto Him, not this world. Now, I know that nothing is a coincidence.. We were talking about forgiveness tonight at a bible study. Then, as I was just driving home, the thought came to me… Complete and total forgiveness is when you can thank your abuser for being the catapult that threw you into God’s arms… Now that’s a thought. You see, if it would not be for the traumas that happen in our lives, many would be happy to just keep living their lives without ever giving God a second thought. God is an awesome God. I will be praying for you, my friend… Blessings!

      • Likewise. This world is temporary. Forgiving is really letting it go(for me). It’s hard and uncomfortable, but each day brings new joy, the sound of laughter from my children gets louder as I begin to focus more on my life now, and not the past! Dealing with the past is giving me a better now! Love and blessings! Thanks so much! Look forward to following and staying in touch!

      • secretangel says:

        Amen… Yes, this world is temporary. God has so much in store for each of us. I pray for your continued healing and restoration. May God bless you and guide your path. Thanks again!!

  2. Natalia Sofia says:

    Hi Secret Angel…I really like your writings…I know you learn A LOT from your past and i thank GOD cause HE pull you out from all that pain :), Thank you for sharing and GOD bless you

  3. mtsweat says:

    You have been blessed greatly with a thorough understanding of this liberating truth good friend. To not find our way down this pathway of freedom you speak of is to literally drink the poison of the enemy. Release and be released. Thank you for these gracious words,may we all hear them and allow God to plant them deeply in our hearts.

    • secretangel says:

      Amen! I really appreciate your encouraging words and support as I join all of you on CB. I thank God for what He has done for me as I held onto Him for my life and continue to hold onto Him every day. Many blessings to you my friend…

  4. Pingback: The Flaming Tongue, Forgiveness and my Right to Be Right | set your paths straight

  5. Thanknyou for this post. Forgiveness is such a difficult process and i too have struggled with it. i wrote about this in a blog a while ago, (see link below) but would like to add your link to the bottom of mine as well. blessings on your blog…its inspiring to all!


    • secretangel says:

      Thank you so much! I totally understand how difficult it is to forgive. But, like everything else in this world, we have to give it all to God to deal with in order for us to overcome and reach the level with Him that He wants us to walk.Thanks for your support and many blessings to you!!

  6. secretangel says:

    Reblogged this on The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel and commented:

    We have to forgive… to set ourselves free from our pasts…

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.