Let me start out by giving you a definition of HOPE…
Hope:
Wishing that something would happen.
A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to change.
To want something to happen or be the case.
Synonyms of hope are expectation, trust, promise, expect, anticipate.
I have learned through all of my abuses in this world including my marriage and my workplace, to never give up HOPE. Even if there was just a thread of hope that I could see as I was being abused, I held onto it. I did not know why, but just did and cried out for God to change my situation…and He eventually did.
I wished that something would happen. I desired for something better and to change my situation. I expected something to change or happen. I cried out to God continually…and He answered my prayers. But not in the way that I wanted!
You see, I had wanted what I wanted… I wanted my husband to change. I wanted him to stop being abusive. I finally had to release everything to Him. I finally had to say to God, “Thy will be done.” I had to learn to TRUST God! In my total brokenness, I had to let go of my husband and only hold onto God. I still hoped for better, but I quit defining what better was. Then I started seeing little by little what God was doing in my life. My faith was restored as I trusted the Lord and my life took on a different path that I had never planned… but God had had a different plan.
Jeremiah 29:11(NIV)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
NO MATTER WHAT WE GO THROUGH IN THIS WORLD, HANG ONTO HOPE…AND HANG ONTO GOD. TRUST HIM FOR ONLY HE KNOWS THE FUTURE!!
by Secret Angel of Secret Angel Ministry and The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel
I wish for that to happen for me. I have had such a hard time letting go of the idea of my family being able to be put back together. I never realized that I hadn’t excepted it was over. I guess I always had it in the back of my mind that he would change and come back to me. I am having to swallow that now and it is so hard.
He answered my prayers. But not in the way that I wanted!.
Yes, only when Our hope is what God wants ( i.e. For our good) will He allow it to come to fruition. So we have to let go of what we want and accept His will for us by surrendering ourselves to Him. Not my will but Thine will be done said Jesus. A key factor in getting God’s best for us.
Amen… That is exactly right. Mia, I had to let go of my thoughts of my future and submit to His will for my life. I am still walking it out, but I can assure you that it is far beyond my imagination could have ever taken me. I still can’t plan but allow Him to lead me everyday as He orchestrates my steps. Picture letting go of an anchor and soaring with a huge balloon wherever the wind takes you and that wind is the Breath of God. My friend, let go of your past and allow God to take you beyond your own imagination. Remember, the earth is His footstool. He makes the impossible, possible. I pray that He will reveal Himself to you in miraculous ways and lead you as He is still leading me. I pray for healing and restoration to your heart and soul and that God will pour His blessings onto your life and show you how to soar!!!
Mia, I totally understand what you are saying and felt the same way, praying for years that he would change… I held onto the hopes of God restoring my marriage until God told me one day that he would never change… which he hasn’t to this day. That closed that door for me and strengthened my desire to hang onto the One in Whom all things are possible. I feel such a connection to you and know that we have walked similar paths. I hope that you will read my book and receive a healing that you need to continue to walk into the future that God has planned for you. It is always in your best interest… I will be praying for you… May God bless you my friend!!
I want to believe that so much. I don’t have anything else to hang onto now. The tiny bit of faith I have is the only thing that keeps me pushing forward. A small piece of me believes that God will change my life and that good things are in my future, it’s really small though and it’s battling with letting go of many years of attachment. I don’t know what has me hanging to a string of hope that he will see the harmful nature of his ways. Its two fold, for me and for my children. I can’t help but fear the disappointment they have in store for them, judging by his actions so far. And I don’t know why I feel I love him still. If it’s not love than what? I can’t grasp that he might never have loved me at all. I relied too much on him in our marriage and even after. He was someone I could always fall back to, not in a romantic way but in a way that he would always help me. I knew it always came at a price but he was still there. It’s so hard to let go. He told me he loved me the whole time we were apart. He said he hoped that one day it could work out. So I guess never really let completely go of it. What is wrong with me that I still forgive him and still wanted him after all he has done? I must be so damaged or just blind. I try to be angry but it just fades into missing him. I know I will never go back, no matter what now, but I can’t rid myself of the feelings I have. It totally sucks. I look forward to reading your book, hopefully it has some hope for me and others like me in it.
Oh my God!! Mia, your story sounds so much like mine. I felt the exact same way as I cried out to God for years for him to change. I thought I was crazy as I allowed my ex to keep me dangling on a string, holding on to hopes that our family would be restored… then God revealed it to me… I was on a string or more like a bungee cord that would pull me back into his arms at his convenience. Not only is it control and manipulation… but spiritually, it is soul-ties.. I know that my book will help you understand as I have written all that God has revealed to me. It is only with God that we can totally let go of our past, breaking all soul ties, and overcome to the degree that God wants… total healing and restoration. I am praying for you, my friend!!
It would be easier if we didn’t share kids together. I can’t fully get him out of my life. I don’t speak to him for a while and then there is a need for us to talk and he weasels his way back into my good graces. Like this time, my son told me that not only was he not able to not drink for the weekend he had them but he never even talked to him and apologized for the drama that happened because of his lies. He totally avoided it like a coward. And to top it off, he told my son that he was thinking of paying for myself and the two boys to fly back to my parents house for christmas! He must know he really messed up because he usually tries to buy his way out of his mistakes, and this is a big one. Also, he never does anything unless it benefits him first so he probably wants to go on a trip with his honey to make it up to her too, so he would need to get the kids out of the way. See? He just injects disappointment and heartache into our lives constantly. He would gladly give up the boys on his holiday to suck up to this stupid new girl. He had the nerve to tell my youngest son that she loves him. Ha, her true colors came out last weekend when she bullied and tried to get him to get rid of his son so they could be together. I once felt sorry for this girl, as i looked at her as a younger me, but she is selfish and nasty herself. She knows everything he did and she still wants him, she can have him and she deserves it. Sorry if this sounds angry but I don’t tolerate people who have no problem hiring my kids. I told my son that I would take him up on his offer. Why not let him fly us out to have a nice Christmas and make something positive out of all this pain.
I totally understand. We had the same problem with his psychological abuse to my children. That’s what it is.. .abuse. My children wanted their dad to change but never wanted him back in our house. I would definitely try to get away for Christmas to be with your family. I don’t know how old your children are but I had 2 out of 3 that were too young make their own decision and cried when they had to go to his house as court ordered. We just kept praying…
They are 8 and 14. My older one has had it with his dad but is so soft spoken and afraid if he makes him angry he will take off like his brother and his dad did to their kids. So he keeps it all in and pretends its all ok, around him. Around me he is honest about it. My youngest is just on the verge of seeing a bit of who his dad is. The sun rises and sets with daddy thing is wearing off and he is feeling the sting of disappointment from him. They both want to go for now, but any more than a couple days is too long because he yells and has such a short fuse.
Again… so similar. My kids were 9, 12,and 15. I can tell you that I cried a million tears for my pain and my children’s pain. It is not easy however God loves our kids even more than we do. All of us would get together to pray and then watch what God would do. My kids saw his abuse and many times, God protected them. Their dad had no fuse and still does not think that he has a problem. He still blames me. But God knows the truth…and so do the children.
Indeed, in addition for me hope is using the imagination
Thanks for the input.. Blessings to you!
Reblogged this on The Iridescent Bubble and commented:
The Upside to Hope
I love this and needed to be reminded of it today 🙂
Thanks and many blessings to you!
Reblogged this on The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel and commented:
TRUST GOD!! He knows where you are now and He knows what the future holds. Trust Him to bring you through it and over it into the great plans He has for you.