NOTE: The subject matter in this post is of a sensitive nature. If you are a parent, please read and share if you feel it will bring light to a topic that is often not discussed within the home but it is a part of the sex education within many schools. I wanted to bring a spiritual perspective (which is not what they would receive from the world) to help pre-teens and teens who are inundated with this issue among their peers, and help them see that as Christians, there is another view to this topic. If you however, are a young person that reads this blog, always ask your parent first to view it before reading because there may be some questions that you really need answers and they would be the best ones to ask.
Many teenagers have often asked or wondered about this issue. There are also many who have participated in this form of self-satisfaction as well. Often a taboo subject, it is not easily shared or talked about with parents, adults, and Christians in general. However, it is becoming more prevalent in society among teens as the “okay” thing to do. The reason why most teens think it is the “okay” thing to do, is due in part because other people are not involved. It is only you. But does that still make it okay? Although I am calling it a self-satisfying way to fulfill a person sexually, the right term is called “Masturbation.” In the Bible, there are no outright verses that say that masturbation is wrong, such as… “Don’t speak a certain curse word or don’t smoke marijuana,” etc… However, God did set up guidelines and precepts for us to follow because they are spiritually healthy for us and they do not lead to sin. Masturbation comes from whatever is going on within the heart. For example, when your heart is sinfully lusting, masturbation is just the result of that lust.
1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world.
So one of the questions that a teen asked was, “What if you aren’t lusting after someone while you are doing it?” Even if it were not a sin, the fact is that many start off doing it once in a while and later on it becomes addictive in nature, therefore getting out of control. The Bible clearly talks about self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is….self-control. Against such there is no law. 2 Peter 1:5-7 (ESV) For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue,[a] and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. II Timothy 3:2-3 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,
Let’s take a look at 3 other areas of this self-satisfaction –
Marriage and Masturbation – It has been noted that many marriages struggle with intimacy because of one who used self-satisfaction for a long time prior to the marriage. The sexual fulfillment from masturbation and the sexual fulfillment of a married couple are not the same and it can cause serious issues within that marriage. Self-Satisfaction in itself is a selfish desire. It seeks to gratify oneself no matter how it is done.
“do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4, NASB).
Masturbation and Porn – These two are often together in order to bring satisfaction to the person. Porn is an act of sexual lust which is sin.
Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Masturbation and Addiction – When your body has been sexually charged from repeated self-satisfaction, it does not just one day go away on its own. It becomes like a drug wanting it more. For some, masturbation isn’t enough anymore and they move onto something more gratifying whether it is looking at porn or having sex. Some teens say that they can stop and it isn’t an issue with them. The real test is for them to try and stop it and see what happens. Most likely it will be too hard to stop because of the fact that it had already become a habitual controlling pattern. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for God’s help to release you from that habit.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Masturbation isn’t the only thing teens think is safe from sinning. They also will try to find alternatives that do not involve sexual intercourse as a way to get through their hormone stage. Some try oral sex, fondling or petting, sexting, and other ideas to help them get through their teenage years before marriage. If you take a closer look however, those ideas are founded upon lust which involves sin and is also the world’s answer to teenage hormones. They cannot give true satisfaction as in the way of a union between a married husband and wife. Whether you think masturbation is a sin or not, it can hinder your walk with Christ if you allow it to lead you into sin or lose self-control. God intended those sexual gratifications to be within marriage. He knows that you are tempted daily by sexual feelings. However, He provided a way for you.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Christ gives a way out. He knew that you would have a difficult time in battling this area of your life. He wants so much for you to rise up, give Him control and walk in His Spirit.
Galatians 5:16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.