The 800-pound resentment in the room

I have a problem with resentment at times.  As I prayed about my resentments, God showed me several things.  First, He showed me that my resentment is self-inflicted. Second, if I hold on to my resentment, it will soon take up residence in my mind. I will allow the person I have resentment towards live rent free in my head.

The word resentment actually means to play over again. In other words, instead of handling it, I play the thing that caused my resentment over and over. I keep bringing my hurt up, mostly to myself.

Some folks equate resentment with anger.  I don’t think I do that. If I get angry atresentment someone, I normally take positive steps rather quickly to resolve it with whom I’m angry. I don’t stay angry long. Resolving anger usually involves forgiving someone we perceive has wronged us.

Resentment is another story. I often discover that my resentment rears it’s ugly head with someone I perceive wronged me. And after I’ve prayed about it or talked with an accountability brother, I realize they didn’t wrong me at all.

Sometimes I’m good at holding on to resentment and playing it over and over in my head. I heard a quote once that pretty much nails my resentment,

Holding on to resentment is like grabbing a red-hot coal intending to throw it at somebody else; but you are the one who gets burned.

What I discover when I’m stewing in my resentment is that I blossomed the resentment myself. I created ill will towards another for no reason.  That means I have to

  1. Dig deep, pray and ask God to reveal the source of my resentment. What did I do or what did I say to birth this toxic emotion?
  2. Repent of it.
  3. Lay it at the foot of the cross
  4. Walk away.

This process works every time.

About Steven Sawyer

God blessed me with the gift of writing. Mom told me I wrote paragraphs in second grade when others were learning to write sentences. I spent more than three decades in professional writing gigs. For the past eight years I've combined my passion for writing with my love for the Lord. He and I write a Christ-centered, family-friendly blog to glorify God Monday-thru Friday at My wife and I have four grown children and two precious granddaughters we co-parent with their mom. I'm a Galatians 2:20 disciple of Christ seeking to allow Christ to live His life in me, through me, and as me.
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