I have a problem with resentment at times. As I prayed about my resentments, God showed me several things. First, He showed me that my resentment is self-inflicted. Second, if I hold on to my resentment, it will soon take up residence in my mind. I will allow the person I have resentment towards live rent free in my head.
The word resentment actually means to play over again. In other words, instead of handling it, I play the thing that caused my resentment over and over. I keep bringing my hurt up, mostly to myself.
Some folks equate resentment with anger. I don’t think I do that. If I get angry at someone, I normally take positive steps rather quickly to resolve it with whom I’m angry. I don’t stay angry long. Resolving anger usually involves forgiving someone we perceive has wronged us.
Resentment is another story. I often discover that my resentment rears it’s ugly head with someone I perceive wronged me. And after I’ve prayed about it or talked with an accountability brother, I realize they didn’t wrong me at all.
Sometimes I’m good at holding on to resentment and playing it over and over in my head. I heard a quote once that pretty much nails my resentment,
Holding on to resentment is like grabbing a red-hot coal intending to throw it at somebody else; but you are the one who gets burned.
What I discover when I’m stewing in my resentment is that I blossomed the resentment myself. I created ill will towards another for no reason. That means I have to
- Dig deep, pray and ask God to reveal the source of my resentment. What did I do or what did I say to birth this toxic emotion?
- Repent of it.
- Lay it at the foot of the cross
- Walk away.
This process works every time.