It was a Saturday night, half past nine when I heard my phone rang. I wanted to actually ignore the call. I was already prepping myself up for bed and when I saw in the display who it was, I answered. She was a very close friend. All the while, I thought she called for a chat but I was a bit surprised when I heard her sobbing on the other line. She asked me if I could meet her and so we did.
This friend of mine married early, that is, from my personal perspective. She was in her early 20s and her husband was in his late teens. Back then when she told me she was getting married, I asked her if she is really is serious about it. Almost five years later, she now told me she wanted to be out of the marriage for the reason that her husband is not living up to his God-given role as a man in the family.Honestly, I just wanted to listen to her the whole time and thinking to myself,”Lord, help me not say anything stupid here.” Being a very opinionated unmarried woman, I admit that it is easy for me to judge her husband as a slack and an immature guy but I resolve to tell her to pray about it.
I have, for quite a few times now, been asked by friends as to what I think they should do about the problems they have in their relationships. Truth is, I know not much. I am not in a relationship or have I ever been in one. I have guy friends though but never a romantic relationship so aside from my parents and a few older married church friends, I don’t know much. When this friend asked me what she should do about her husband, I told her to respect your husband because that is what God wants you to do. I can see it in her eyes that she didn’t like what I said. The reason I told her that is because that is what the Bible said – “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” -Ephesians 5:22-24
I too feel that this is not an easy command to do.Even without a husband yet, the more I ponder on this thought, the more I realize that the issue isn’t so much about a man not doing his role as the head of the family, but it says a lot about a woman’s willingness to be obedient to her Lord. “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” –1 Peter 3:1-2
I have been told that as early as now that I should be praying for my husband-pray that he loves the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength, pray that he finds His identity in Christ alone, not on his achievements in life or his failures in the past, pray that he grows in godly wisdom and strength and pray that has a teachable and a contrite heart before his Maker. Yet with that, I also pray that I learn to respect him for the man that he is, that I also grow to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, that I learn to trust his decisions and most importantly, to support and submit to him as the head of our family.