Men Don’t Cry

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I never thought I would be this way” he said tears in his eyes watching his little boy walk down the hall alone at preschool. 

A milestone had been passed.
As we walked down the steps together I said “it doesn’t get easier”. Remembering the emotion I felt with my daughter’s on their first day of school, the fact that my youngest daughter will graduate this year. The same emotion I felt this morning as my grandson walked away alone.
I recently watched a man I have known for almost thirty years and respect more than almost anyone I know, cry at the death of a friend. And like the dad this morning he apologized for showing emotion.
We are taught it is not manly to express emotion especially if it involves tears. As men we are taught how to hunt, how to fish, how to fight, how to be an athlete, but not taught how to feel. The one emotion we are familiar with is anger and that emotion most often is expressed in the wrong way.
In John 11:35 we see an example of how a man’s man expresses sorrow. “Jesus wept”. In Luke 19:41 we see Jesus weeping over the city that has just welcomed Him as a King, but will soon reject and crucify Him. Sorrow but not anger. In fact the only record of Jesus showing anger is when His Fathers house is misused.
Our emotions are not only given by God but learning to express and control them in the right way is part of our spiritual and emotional growth. And even our tears are important to God. Psalm 56:8 tells us He saves them in a bottle. But the man who would fly into a rage over a car cutting him off in traffic while stoically refusing to show emotion to grief , pain, hardship does not grow emotionally or spiritually.
I believe most of the volatile anger we see in men in our society is the result of denying any emotion we feel shows us to be weak or vulnerable. And when we fail to “let it out” we leave ourselves open to other emotions that damage ourselves and others. Scripture directs us to be angry and sin not- but also to mourn with those who mourn, to show compassion and tenderness, and yes not be afraid to cry.
We will express our emotions in some way the only question is how?


“Now at last they were beginning chapter One of the great story no one on earth has read: which goes on forever”. I love this line at the end of the Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Everyone has a story to tell and ultimately we are all part of a greater story that someday will be revealed in full. “ For now, we can only see a dim and blurry picture of things”. ( 1 Corinthians 13:12). My story is not remarkable, although the events I have had the privilege in my life to witness have been. I grew up in the south “the land of cotton” and the old times there were definitely not forgotten. I remember where I was and what I was doing when JFK and Martin Luther King were murdered in Dallas and in Memphis. I remember the Civil Rights movement, a time of great unrest and change. I remember the dawning of the “Age of Aquarius” in the late 1960’s. It was also the dawning of my love for playing music, a love that has stayed with me throughout my life. If my life were chapters in a book one would tell of my precious bride of 20+ years who endured so much and stood beside me through the good and the bad. One would describe the blessings of being a father and a grandfather. One would tell about how despite being “the wretch” the song sings about God was able to change me, and use me to make a difference in others lives, make me a servant in His church, and surround me with friends all because of His goodness. All part of a story that has had many twists and turns. I think of the words Jimmy Buffet wrote in one of my favorite songs "As a dreamer of dreams and a travelin’ man I have chalked up many a mile Read dozens of books about heroes and crooks And I learned much from both of their styles" And so it is true for me. But in all of my travels and all I have read and experienced nothing compares to where I am headed. The place where my story here ends and the story that goes on forever begins! "" I am confident that He who began a good work in you will carry it on until completion until the day He returns". Philippians 1:6 My hope is that as we all run our race that in some small way my words will encourage and speak to you, as your story is being written. And draw you ever closer to the One who loves you. Further up and further in!
This entry was posted in A CLICK A BLESSING TODAY, CHRISTIAN TEENS BLOGS, SHARING STRUGGLES , Shaping Spiritual Solutions! and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Men Don’t Cry

  1. ptl2010 says:

    Beneath the hunk is a compassion and love , for man was made in the image of God.
    Jesus God- man showed us acceptable behaviour for men. Follow Him.

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