I am thinking of you today.

Because I can see inside your heart and I know the turbulence that fills it.

But remember. As always, this will pass. Have I not taught you – let not your heart be troubled?

I was thinking of you, there in that hotel room- when you finally heard my call and kneeled beside that bed – confessing 30 plus years of selfishness, shame and disgust of your choices. And I sent the pure sweet smell of sunrise, spring tulip trees and singing morning doves lilting into your windows. And I reminded you I was there to watch you breathe your first eternal air that precious morn when you gave me your life.

I was there on the beach with you that September when you laid your tear- streaked face down in the sand, overcome with pain. Sobbing over long past mistakes.

Do you remember what I said to you then? “I have already forgiven you but I cannot do anything with you until you forgive yourself.”

And you learned to start trusting me.

I was there with you that afternoon someone you love deeply betrayed you to the very soul of your heart. You couldn’t even breathe. So I breathed for you. And I promised I would not leave you, I whispered to you that I would make all things new. I needed to break it to build it again. All I asked of you at that moment was to “lay your Ebeneezer down” to me and trust.

And you begrudgingly released your pain to me. In return I sent you signs and prayers and songs and wonders and you learned I could be trusted. And I healed you. And I proved to you what was meant for evil I used for good. I kept my promise.  I restored your life.

Remember when I stood beside you that dusk- when you got The Call. It was time for you to release your father to me. When the nurse called you – I watched a strong woman crumple into a weak and bereft child. His daughter. But My princess. I alone knew the myriad of feelings that drowned you in the moment. Pain. Relief. Loss. Missed opportunity. You felt like an orphan and I reminded you – I am still your Daddy. And I will never be lost to you.

And this morning, I am standing with you now. I heard you crying in the shower. I felt your fear, your worry, your exhaustion from holding it all together.

I want you to know daughter I always think of you. I have chosen you. Even when you give up on you…on Me. I will never let you go and one day, this old life will be past. And I will be thinking of you then too… and we will be dancing together at our wedding feast.

My bride. My daughter. My creation. My lovely. I promise.