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It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 3:8
Her stomach was wrenching, her pulse spiking and she felt her tongue gluing to the top of her mouth. She drove down her driveway and saw her parents there, unexpectedly – waving at her with innocent smiles.
He was standing behind them with an angry look and glaring over their shoulders at her. He would never believe she was as surprised as he was to see them. She had been out of town for 3 silent days and all she wanted to do is come home and fix it with him.
She parked the car, faked a smile, embraced her parents and chatted them up mindlessly. They stayed for a while and talked about nothing to them both as she struggled to seem normal and well and attentive to the conversation.
Finally they left and to be polite, he walked them to the front door and said farewell and that was it. As soon as the door closed he turned to her and his face went dark. Her worst fears filled her gut. The three days of silence between them had grown into a chasm so wide there was no bridging in site. She was panicking. There was no way to fix it. He didn’t want to. She wasn’t even sure what was really wrong between them. She just knew it was. And so she left.
She drove to the grocery store and grabbed a basket and mindlessly started throwing stuff in it. She couldn’t even think because her heart was beating so loud in her ears. She didn’t really know what she was there to purchase. Finally the damn broke and she began to sob – right there between the vine tomatoes and the red onions.
Her heart was on fire and she started to shake. The produce manager saw her and asked if she was ok. “Fine, I am fine.” she barked. But she wasn’t fine. She was dying inside. Tormented. Lost. Confused and trapped. Breathing rapidly she said out loud, “Come on God. What is going on? Can ya just throw me a bone here”?
Hot tears began blinding her eyes and so she put the basket down on the ground and headed out the auto sliding door – and then she saw it, small and yellow, placed right at eye level, a little sticky note on the glass door…
“YOU ARE L ❤️ VED…”
She gasped. She really couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She felt the warm emotional embrace of the God who saw her, of a Father who heard her and a Saviour who answered her…
Yes, she was stunned – but even so she knew, KNEW that God was “throwing her that bone…” He was there.
She continued into the parking lot and collapsed into the front seat of her car. Howling in agony she begged God to help her. She sat in that car until the sun set and the moon rose low in the horizon. She cried and yelled and made deals and begged.
Finally spent, she returned home for the second time that day with a resolve to let be what will be. She entered her house through the back door, not knowing what to expect. He was there. Sitting in the dark. She held her breath. He called out to her, “We need to talk” and gently reached to hold her…
She heard her own throat let out a whimper… “You are loved…” her heart spoke to her, and she knew she was going to be okay because her Father was there too, and He has told her so….